As a child, I cried when I didn’t get what I wanted, when I couldn’t achieve those marks I worked hard for, when a teacher scolded me, when someone made fun of me, when I wasn’t happy with my hair, my clothes, my looks and the list is too long. I was always called a crybaby and embarrassed my parents multiple times in public as I cried anywhere. I would try harder not to cry, but that’s what I could never control.
I tried to look back at that behaviour and realised multiple reasons why I did that as a child—
My first response to any discomfort was crying.
Like any other child, I was an attention seeker. Though negative, I still managed to get it.
Sometimes, I couldn’t figure out what upset me.
Crying made me feel lighter.
Crying felt safe.
My crying did a lot of good to me back then and even today —
It was the best escape from those little stressors, which were huge then.
Crying helped me flush out stress hormones and release endorphins- the happiness hormones, eventually making me feel good.
I was focused on my studies and was doing pretty well.
I always slept well. I don’t remember waking up all night, even during my toughest exams.
I was mainly calm during my exams.
I was a healthy child.
I don’t have grudges against anything or anyone.
I also realised that it was not only crying that helped but there was a lot of contribution from my father, who was my biggest supporter. Every time I cried, everyone either got upset or made fun, and then I cried even more. My father, whom everybody feared to talk to, came to talk it out with me most of the time, trying to listen and make me understand, and eventually, I felt better. I felt at least someone was trying to understand; someone was on my side. That helped me not feel like a wreck. Like everyone, I, too, perceived crying as a weakness, but crying is the safest expression, and I don't hesitate to cry whenever I feel like it, even today. How often do you cry?
All of us must have a venting out process that is healthier and kinder for us and others around us. So, how do you vent out? Please share in the comments section below.
I meet many people with issues like acidity, bloating, sleeplessness, fatigue, backaches, migraines and chest pain, and they are eagerly looking for a way to get rid of these discomforts. They have no reason to come to me for their physical health issues. Still, they do after getting themselves tested for every possible disease and entire body health check-ups to determine the possible reason to heal themselves with medicines. I have met people whose physicians have told them that medications alone can’t help if they do nothing to reduce their stress. We know that medicines can take away your symptoms but not the cause. I have met people who claim that they don’t have any stress, just a few persistent and unexplainable pains here and there. All the issues they faced happened in the past, and they are out of that. We start talking when they realise what their body is holding on to without them knowing about it.
Our physical and mental health are related as our body and mind must work together for our overall well-being. Have you ever had a gut feeling about something, and you were right? Or have you felt butterflies in your stomach before your first date or stomach upset before a presentation? That's right. Our gut and brain are connected through chemicals called neurotransmitters and millions of nerves. The longest nerve connecting our gut and brain is the vagus nerve. It sends signals from the brain to the gut and vice versa. When we are stressed out or feeling upset, angry or sad, the message is conveyed from our brain to our gut, and the response comes in various feelings- feelings of pain or discomfort. We feel peaceful and joyful when we are happy and fulfilled.
It is always your choice to figure out how to deal with your situation. You can choose to seek professional help or search on Google. Choose what helps you sort things out and not bottle up. A professional can help you learn new skills, understand red flags and unhealthy behaviour patterns, and eventually empower you to lead a fulfilling life. Your mental health is your responsibility. How we deal with it is how we train our future generation to deal with theirs.
It is essential to understand your challenging situation, what might have caused it, and how to avoid repeating it. This helps us to be mentally empowered and physically thriving. Let’s take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our loved ones!
“Every cell in your body is eavesdropping on your thoughts.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Have a blessed life, and be a blessing to others!
Cheers,
Anupma
Counselor & Therapist
Mindfulness & Life Coach
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